Tuesday, September 11, 2012

On This Day

I haven't posted in quite a while.  Life has taken over, we have been busier than busy and I just haven't taken the time to stop and write anything. I will get back to regular blogging soon.  But I feel like I can't let today go by without some sort of acknowledgement of a day such as this.

As we all know, today is September 11. Every year on this date we all are taken back to where we were, what we were doing.   On Sept. 11, 2001 I had already graduated from college. I remember my drive to work that day - I remember thinking to myself  "what a perfect Fall day!"  The sky was a gorgeous shade of blue, the sun was brilliant. There wasn't a cloud to be seen.  The temperature was just starting to get Fall like- it wasn't cold but it was cool, and the air was crisp and clean.   I clearly remember that.  Because just a short while later the perfection of that day was about to be shattered.  At the time I worked at a small country preschool in a cute little country church complete with a steeple and white picket fence. That day was my day to take my little ones to the Art Room and I was excited about it- my little ones loved going to the Art Room.  Our project was making stars and moons out of construction paper, glitter, and Popsicle sticks. I had just gotten the kids set up with their materials when my boss came in and told me my fiance David was on the phone.  David never called me at work, so I immediately panicked.  He sounded shaken and asked if we had seen any news.  Of course we had not- we had no cable TV at the school.  He was watching the news and said that two planes had hit the World Trade Center in New York. While we were on the phone the Pentagon was hit.  It was at that moment we both realized what was going on. David does not scare easily so his fear shook me to the core. During the phone call my boss was sitting next to me and asked David to keep us informed throughout the day.  The rest of the day at work is a blur.  We had to pretend that all was well and make it a normal day for kids. We also had a radio going to so we could keep up with the news reports.

I didn't see any images or pictures from the day until I got home that evening. We had listened to the radio at work so I knew what happened but I had yet to see any of it. David was waiting for me at my house and already had the news on.  The images- I will never ever forget those.  Tears- I remember crying buckets of tears for the victims, for my country, out of fear. Along with the fear I felt immense pride for my country. I also felt anger- a sickening hatred towards those that had done this.

Now, 11 years later I have 3 children of my own.  The oldest has seen some news footage and some of the magazines and newspapers I saved from that day.  She has asked about those pictures and what happened.  It's so hard to explain it to a child.  How to do you explain that some people hate our country enough to want to attack it and  hurt innocent people?  How do you explain that the world can be a big scary place? The Historian in me will find a way to explain it, but for now I tell her it was a sad terrible day.

On this day I don't turn on the TV. I have watched all the news footage and documentaries. I don't need to see the images again- they are burned into my memory.  I don't want my girls to see it either. I am not ignoring it, I just feel they are too young to understand.  On this day I watch the clock all morning and note the times. I pray. I think about someone I know who lost a parent on that terrible day at the Pentagon and I say a prayer for her.  I pray my children will never have to go through something like that.  I pray for a time when there is no more hatred and fear.

 On this day I give my husband an extra kiss on his way out the door and tell him I love him a couple more times.  I hug my daughters tighter.  On this day I hope that what happened on that terrible day never happens again.

Do you remember where you were on that September day?